As an endo warrior I’m constantly distracted…

I’m constantly distracted by my body

The pain

The spasms

The nausea

The stiffness

The fatigue

The weight of it all

And how the waistband on my pants never stretches enough to accommodate my endo belly

The sun and the lights are too loud, yes loud. It’s like I can hear them and the noise just competes with the pain.

Sitting hurts.

Standing hurts more.

And sometimes my pelvis feels so frozen that even laying down becomes painful.

Heat. And weed. The only things that I (almost) always have access to that help.

Deep breaths. You know how to get through this, I tell myself for millionth and one time cause it’s scary.

And I’m sorry I’m never fully present. That a part of me is constantly managing something happening inside that you can’t see.

I want you to see. But I don’t always know how to show you.

I do know there’s 198 million more me’s that feel the same way and nothing is going to change for us if more people don’t care.

If this resonates with you, welcome to the Best Worst Club! While I hate that we have chronic illness in common I hope you’ll stick around our safe space here. And let’s be real, this endometriosis life is heavy, too heavy to carry alone. So don’t go at it alone, join the Club Letters to have endo- encouragement sent directly to your inbox here. Or join our new space, The Clubhouse. A virtual supportive community for people living with endometriosis.